In Wisconsin you can find Mars Cheese Castle, the most magical place on earth. It's as awesome as its name implies.
In Milwaukee they have Summerfest, where you can drink beer and eat cheesy foods until you puke. There's nothing quite like riding the SkyTrain when you're drunk on berry beer. (Apparently there's music there too, but I was too busy eating and drinking to notice.)
Best of all, I finally found my enemy in Wisconsin.